User Profile

SUBJECT: Adrielus
LAST SIGHTING: with his espionage team of monkeys on a covert operation to take over the world.
CASE STATUS: Dangerous and equipped with monkeys and bazooka bubble gum.
BIRTHDATE: The dark ages, how Goth.
BIRTHPLACE: The closet, breadcrumbs served weekly.
BUST: 36" A
WAIST: 34"
HIPS: 38"
HEIGHT: 6' 1"
WEIGHT: 220 lbs
AMBITIONS:
To kill Gilbert Godfrey or to at least beat him into a coma, to earn more Goth points than Peter Murphy, become the target of a witch hunt, world domination, to arm wrestle a quadriplegic and to win a staring contest with Miyamoto Musashi.
TURN-ONS:
Wearing men's clothes, copious amounts tomato paste, Black Beauty the movie, toilet paper, Smurfet, Liquid Television and belly button lint.
TURN-OFFS:
Inadequate thought process, the original Speak and Spell, blow fish and Ben Hur. Tori Spelling, environmentalists and their psychopathic dolphin-safe tuna, macaroni, Yanni, and shrapnel.
MOST IRRATIONAL FEAR:
Daytime.
THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW AGAINST:
Daytime.
THE IDEAL ROMANTIC EVENING:
Scrabble and wine on a rooftop in New York city, followed by coed clothed role-playing... with minute ponies.
I TRULY BELIEVE:
That gnomes come at night and nip at your ankles while you sleep, then they steal your slippers and feed them to the dog. They are somehow associated with the Jedi, but I'm not sure how.